If you’re having trouble giving effective consequences to your teen, know that you are not alone. Many parents tell me that nothing seems to work, and that coming up with the right thing for their child can seem like an impossible task.
Natural Consequences Instead of yelling at your child when he's, once again, forgotten his homework, let him experience the natural consequences of not turning it in on time. Elementary teachers might take away recess time and high school teachers might require the student to do an extra assignment as a punishment for being late.
Canceling an important holiday, celebration, or party to teach your child a lesson is not going to result in improved behavior. Effective consequences require a child to show improvement in order to earn a privilege. Once a special event has passed, there’s no way for your child to earn it back. He’ll just be bitter.Then don’t tell them they have to do homework. Just keep an eye on the time. When the time is up when they should have been doing homework, if they haven’t been doing it, go and unplug their computer or take their mouse. Unplug the television. Shut off the wifi. Whatever you do, don’t get into a battle of wills. A teenager is stubborn.Underachieving Teens. Most parents find it difficult to tolerate a teen whom they feel isn't trying. His or her refusal to do homework is often an indirect way of expressing anger and confusion. Under-achievement in kids can be caused by many things: Emotional upset.
Think through consequences you want to use and wait until you are not upset to give them to your child. Be sure to praise him periodically as he completes assignments and when he finishes his homework. Raising Kids with Integrity Lying: How to break the habit in children.
A Procrastinator. Depends on the teacher. I’m best friends with my drama teacher and she gives out the shortest detentions (5 minutes, never any longer, even if you didn’t do a more important piece of homework, such as an essay) and doesn’t really mind if you haven’t done your homework but she stills wants it by next week (we only have one drama lesson per week).
Teens with ADHD tend to lie most about school and homework. Sometimes they may truly be unsure of what is the truth and what is not. It’s important to confront your teen with evidence that they lied, and then focus on what led to the lie rather than the lie itself.
When parents prevent teens from experiencing the consequences of failure they rob a task of it’s significance, and hence their teenager’s motivation to do better next time. If your teen is responsible for taking the rubbish out every week and they don’t get it done, then they become responsible for managing the mess and overflowing bins for the following week.
Last night she had on the MTV music awards and then called her friend while she was doing her homework. I told her she needed to get off the phone. You can't tell me what to do. Oh, yes I can. Anyway, she was doing her homework from 8:30 - 10:30, after which she took her book and went to her room to read and stayed up until 11 or 11:15.
Teens lie to their parents about drinking alcohol, drug use, what music they listen to, how they spend afternoons, whether a party is being supervised, riding in a car driven by a drunk teen, what they spend their allowance on, completing their homework, whether they are dating or not, the clothes they wear when out of the home, the movie they’re seeing, and who they spend time with.
Teenage boy with ADHD doing homework at coffee table in living room Doing homework when you have ADHD is painful. Students have to copy assignments, bring home the right books, and keep track of due dates — all difficult tasks for children with poor focus, attention, or memory.
Each time your teens complete a chore to your satisfaction or receive a good mark on their homework, they earn points. These points can be cashed in for privileges or enjoyable activities like going to a family-friendly movie on the weekend or a trip to the mall. Remember that it’s not enough to set up these rules and establish this point system.
Not maintaining dignity and respect for yourself and your teen; In our workshops, to help parents learn the art of follow-through and to show them that it really does work, we often ask for a volunteer to role-play a teen who has not kept an agreement to do a task, such as mowing the lawn.
Homework is complicated — for kids and adults — for very different reasons! While you may have a homework plan to which your kids have agreed in theory, a plan is only as good as a child’s ownership of it. So if kids are having meltdowns and refusing to do homework, it is more than likely that they have not actually bought into the plan.
It’s normal for teens to want to assert their independence. But if your teen is finding his schoolwork frustrating because of learning and thinking differences, he might not be open to your help. Find out why your teen might resist your help, and what you can do.